Intention versus Action and a Pretty Good Idea

First, I want to thank everyone for helping though my angst about the million dollar Twitter contest. Turns out I'm a nice guy after all and shouldn't worry so much. So I’m sleeping better at night, but still feeling a bit of a celebrity twat. Here’s why.

I was heavily involved in the Pentecostal Church when I was in junior high, taking everything they said to heart. I was the kid passing out Chick Tracts at school while everyone else was concerned with titties and masturbating without guilt every chance they could get. (What’s that even like?)

And though I'm now miles from what you would call a practicing evangelical, a lot of the teaching I received from that time in my life still sticks with me. After all, good advice is good advice. Doesn’t matter where it comes from. Nowadays I’ll take a spiritual lesson from wherever I get it: Jesus, Buddha or the guy who cuts me off on the 101.

This is from the New Testament, Matthew 6:1-4 (NIV) "Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

I’ve always used that as the general rule for my charity giving. It’s tough to do when you’re famous though. I get invited to a lot of things involving a charity auction of some kind where I have to announce to everyone how much I’m giving just to be able to give money and get the auction item. But I still think it’s better to just give the money and shut up about it whenever you can. Don’t take out an ad. Which is why I’ve been feeling the way I’ve been feeling.

But I’ve also been thinking a lot about the meaning of that passage lately, and maybe I got it wrong.

Jesus is talking about intent here as well as action, no? If the intent of your charitable contribution is to let everyone know what a big man you are, then verily I say unto you that the good karma stops there. But if you would just do all your giving in secret, well then... problem solved without even thinking about it. Theology students and bible scholars, feel free to chime in via the comments section.

My guess is I fall somewhere in the middle on this. My intent is totally pure, but I did it publicly AND asked for something in return (a million followers), so see you in hell. (Ha ha. Just kidding. The idea of a bunch of people suffering for all eternity in a big cavern of fire being poked in the butt with pitchforks by demons and whatnot was made up by Dante. It’s not really in the Bible. The concept of hell is, but not the pitchfork in the butt stuff.)

For next year, I’m cooking up a plan where we all can raise a lot of money, but let the charity itself benefit from having the followers. Thus, if charity x gets y number of followers on their twitter account during the year (increasing their reach and visibility), then I will donate $1 for each follower (plus extra pledges of money-per-follower from others). How’s that for an idea? Just kicking it around right now, but it sounds right. And it keeps what I think is the best part of this, which is all these thousands of people asking their friends to perform a quick, simple task (hitting the follow button) to raise money for charity. Please leave thoughts and ideas about this in the comments section.

But wait. Is putting this idea up on my blog just like announcing it “... with trumpets, as the hypocrites (and celebrity twats) do in the synagogues and on the streets..”? Am I going to end up in a cave of fire being poked in the butt with a pitchfork?

Aw, fuck it. I’m doing it anyway.

Could've Handled This Better, But Anyway...

All this Million-Dollar Twitter thing happened so fast, I still can't believe it.

Last Saturday a soccer team I own a part of, the Seattle Sounders FC, beat the Columbus Crew at home 1-0. Columbus hadn't lost a home game in 22 matches, and the victory all but assured us a spot in the playoffs. I was practically doing flips in my office while the game was on, and after the final whistle I acted like an idiot jumping around and pumping my fists as if I'd played the game myself instead of just watching it on TV.

I went on Twitter as soon as the game was over to publicly congratulate the team, and that's when I saw the @ from @Drew. He'd sent me a few more before that I guess, but I missed them. I was about 13,000 followers then and it was hard to see all the @'s I was getting. (Now I really can't keep track. If I see a specific request from someone in an @ reply nowadays it's just dumb luck.) He's this close to being an official cancer survivor and sent a link to an article about his effort to auction of his @Drew name and give the money to the Livestrong Foundation, Lance Armstrong's cancer charity. I was in a GREAT mood, so I tweeted him and bid $25,000 for the name.

By the way, I didn't care less about getting the @Drew twitter name, and still don't. It was a long, slow, steady climb to 13,000 followers and I wasn't about to change my name after all that.

Then I thought about it for a bit, and still in a great mood, upped it to $100,000 if I got 100,000 followers by the time he ended the auction of his Twitter name on November 9th.

Then, after a couple of days after that got a bit of publicity, I went crazy and made it a million for a million followers.

Now here's how I could've handled this better.

I should have just donated the money in the first place without doing the million-follower challenge. Yes, I guess it does "raise awareness" somewhat, but who wasn't aware of Livestrong and Lance Armstrong's fight against cancer? I think they were doing a pretty good job of raising their own awareness without me.

But instead, I think I made it a bit too much about me by making it a contest that benefits me in exchange for my donation. So there it is. My regret. Maybe I didn't make it too much about me. Maybe I just though up a fun way to raise money for a good cause. Whatever. I feel like I made it too much about me, so that's that.

But I'm glad so many people are participating in this. It is a lot of fun, isn't it? And it's cool watching the numbers go up every day. I'm glad the money is going to such a good cause. I'm glad @Drew's plan worked out. So it's all good in the neighborhood, as they say, except the small twinge of guilt about asking for a million followers in exchange for the donation. But I was pretty full of myself last weekend. I own a piece of an expansion team that kicked some serious ass last Saturday. They're probably going to make the playoffs.

So if you're put off by my method, blame them. :)

(And don't forget, tweeps! If I get one million followers by the end of 2009 I'll donate one million dollars to Livestrong. Anything less than a million, I'll prorate it. And it all started with Drew Olanoff, aka @Drew, who has cancer.)

The Beckham Experiment

I read the Beckham Experiment by Grant Wahl last weekend. It's a great book, especially if you are a fan of any other team in MLS besides The Galaxy.

The years covered in the book, 2007 and 2008, were the last two years I was able to be a fan of the Galaxy (I'm one of the owners of the Seattle Sounders FC now). Reading it made me re-live every wall-punching moment: Hearing about Beckham getting hurt in Spain. Seeing Beckham get hurt at the Home Depot Center. The firing of Frank Yallop. The hiring of Ruud Gullit. AC Milan sticking their beak in our beeswax. Nobody passing to Beckham. Beckham waiving his arms, desperately trying to signal that he was open and nobody else on the team seeming to give a shit if he was open.

(Soccer fans who didn't follow the Galaxy may think I'm exaggerating the part about nobody passing to Beckham, but I don't think I am. During the last home game of the season last year, my friends and I watched in wonder as a Galaxy player, dribbling the ball into the attacking third, looked up, saw David Beckham wide open on the wing, and then turned around and dribbled the other way. Only thoughts of my poor fatherless child kept me from flinging myself over the balcony of my luxury box.)

In short, it was a time at the Los Angeles Galaxy that they and Major League Soccer would like to forget. I will heretofore refer to this episode in MLS history as "The Troubles".

A couple of important thoughts went through my head as I read this book. One was a mantra: "Without Phil Anschutz and AEG there would be no pro soccer in the United States. Without Phil Anschutz and AEG there would be no pro soccer in the United States. Without Phil Anschutz and AEG there would be no pro soccer in the United States." (And please, God, don't forget Lamar Hunt. Without those two we probably wouldn't have enough interest in soccer in America to even get a cable station to carry it.) So AEG had a bad couple of years with the Galaxy. So what? They're allowed. Forgive them for stubbing their toe while attempting the never-before-attempted.

Another thing I couldn't help thinking as Grant Wahl described misstep after misstep was "How can this possibly benefit the Seattle Sounders FC?" You see, during the Troubles, I was a fervent Galaxy fan. But now, a year later I find myself in the enviable position of being part of the ownership group of the expansion Sounders. And, if I do say so myself, we've done everything right so far. :) But there's nothing in this book for anyone in the Western Division except for bad news.

Is there anyone out there that seriously thinks AEG and the Galaxy management are going to let 2007 and 2008 ever repeat themselves again? Ever? You think they're ever going to let themselves get to that point again? If you do, then you're high. Bruce Arena (former US Nat'l Team coach) has the Galaxy actually practicing! (Unheard of in the Gullit days.) Their defense is 1,000% better. Even Landon Donovan and David Beckham have supposedly patched things up, which is the worst thing you could hear if you own another team. I don't want those two getting along and scoring goals now. Donovan is one of the best goal scorers in the league. Beckham is perhaps the best ball-passer in the world. I don't want them to be playing the Sounders and being all happy and focused. I want them slapping at each other during warm ups. This book might be the worst thing to happen to everyone BUT the Galaxy.

I'm just starting to watch the Galaxy play the Red Bulls on FSC as I write this. Donovan and Beckham just hugged. Donovan looks like he's about to play in a World Cup game and his testicles will be removed if he doesn't win. The Galaxy already scored and I haven't even had a chance to finish this paragraph. See what I mean? The world of every team in the West is about to be turned upside down because of this freaking book. Good job, Grant.

The Seattle Sounders FC play the Galaxy in LA on August 15th. I hope everyone remembers that we're not playing the same Galaxy team from last year whose every game-plan from Ruud Gullit was "I'm going out for coffee, anybody want anything?" This is the Galaxy who now are re-energized and have something to prove. They have a former MLS Coach of the Year who has won the MLS Cup twice. They already tied us on our home field 1-1 without Beckham. Now they have Beckham back and he and Donovan hugged.

Damn it.

Clock Game Controller - Since 1972!

Saw this backstage today and it blew my mind. It's the control box for The Clock Game on TPIR. Serving obediently and without pay since 1972.

The Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, KS

From A Course in Miracles: "When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see him, you will see yourself. As you treat him, you will treat yourself. As you think of him, you will think of yourself. Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself."

Beautiful, huh? I thought of this while looking at a video from BoingBoing.net of members of the Westboro Baptist Church singing "God Hates The World". If you click on the link and watch it, I have to warn you that it's tough to sit through. At first, I laughed because it was so outrageous. I thought it had to be a sick joke. But then, when I realized how serious they were about their hatred I got more and more sad. And after it ended, my soul was in a puddle on the floor.

But then I remembered that passage from the Course and I just let it all go. I ended up feeling bad for them, actually, trapped in that way of thinking and unable to have any peace because of it. And unable to offer any peace to anyone who isn't as miserable as they are. God doesn't hate the world. They do.

Now I'm no saint. And if you end up reading enough of my blog posts and tweets you'll quickly see what a hypocrite I am for asking that we all love one another one day and screaming at a soccer player on TV on the other. But I don't hate the world. In fact, after watching that video I love the world even more. Any world that can take that kind of abuse and still let you live in it is okay by me.

I'm just starting to raise a 4 year old. And after I watched this video I recommitted myself to teaching him so much about love that it will never occur to him to join a group like the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka. That's my answer to them. I can't hate them. Hate is what they're selling and I won't buy it. I can pray for them, though. I can hope that one day all of them will come to their senses and get help so they can get out from under that horrible psychic burden they're carrying around. And I can work to make the world a place where, in the future where my 4 year old will live, the idea of the Westboro Baptist Church never crosses anybody's mind.

Care to join me?

My Big Celebrity Life

While all the cool celebrities are busy going to the hottest clubs in Haaalywood just so they can get on TMZ, your humble game show host is at home with his fiance playing Second Life and watching Fiddler On The Roof. They just finished Tevye’s Dream. Now they’re at the wedding singing Sunrise, Sunset. I think I’m going to cry. Why didn’t she marry the butcher? The poor, poor, butcher? Yes, dance promise breaker! Dance and be damned!

But, now we're so inspired by the dance number at the wedding that my fiance and I have decided that after we finally sign up for swing dancing lessons and then salsa lessons, we'll take Jewish line-dancing lessons. What's done is done! Five chickens!

Anyway... Second Life. People build the most amazing things there. Like this fantastically creative woman (man?) Pandora Wigglesworth. (Who knows what her/his real name is? Everyone is anonymous on Second Life including me). She has a store called Curio Obscura (above). It's this crazy steam punk Chitty Chitty Bang Bang place that's built on the back of a crab girl in a top hat.

Inside are things for sale that I would kill to have in real life: A propeller that fits in your mouth and allows you to fly, a clockwork body and brain, a robot pillow fight machine, a hand-held X-Ray machine and Anywhere Doors. Anywhere Doors let you just point to a wall and make a door that you can disappear through. Man, have I needed that only about a million times in my life.

Uh oh, Tevye just had the Tsar's dudes break up his daughter's wedding. Entr'acte, which is Jewish for "Intermission". Get him in trouble at the end of the first act. Get him out of trouble by the end of the second. That's the sit-com golden rule.

I have a friend who thinks being on Second Life makes me somehow less of a man because all I do is shop and look for cool places like Curio Obscura. He plays World Of Warcraft. As he said to me in an email, "I go on quests and kill monsters all day. What do you do, change your shirt?" Ooooh. Good burn. Yeah, you're more normal than I am.

Speaking of normal. I'm going to quit blogging now, put on my clockwork head and play some Zyngo. In Second Life. While eating Doritos and watching the world's greatest Jewish musical.

OMG... now the other dude wants to marry his daughter without permission! It's the same movie I just saw in the first half! Just like Sin City. The same story over and over and they call it a movie. Kee-rist.

Price Is Right, The Ride PICS! (Thanks Adam)

Adam Sandler (the TPIR producer and stage god, not the comedian and actor) got me these sample pics for our "Price Is Right, The Ride" project. Can't wait to have these available for every taping. :)